Ask Wren



!!!!
Greetings, you have stumbled upon my personalized Ask Wren page. I am bored most of the time (being that I am kept in a small refrigerator box) so I would be more than overjoyed to answer any of the eclectic questions that you throw at me, from romance to installing a toilet.
Ask away, and contact me at wrenforren@gmail.com
Please supply a nickname, your e-mail will be kept confidential.


The Naked Truth

"Dear Forren of Algo,

Whilst armor, metal, and other openly mechanical properties are understandable to see on an Android, the black cloth-like material which comprises most of your surface area is somewhat more difficult to define. In a wartime Android such as your series is, both flexibility and a high degree of protectivity would be a strong fundamental property of design; to that extent, what are some of the defining qualities or interesting traits of that material? (You see a black-and-silver combination of a large degree of interesting designs, it's a natural combination, and rather suitably dichotomic. Similarly, there is also the age-old red/black wartime color set featured for purposes of intimidation and strength of design.)

Thank you, as always
Respectfully,
Void-Mirror"


Dear Void-Mirror,

The black cloth you have noticed in my design is mostly decorative. It does, however, keep my interior free of dirt and debris. As a polymeric textile, it is highly flame-retardant and flexible. Think Batman's cape, if you will.

But to tell you why it is part of my decorative design, that was a more complicated matter to surmise. In order to answer this question, I searched through the Networked Empirical Video Archives with hopes of finding an answer to this perplexing issue.
According to the details of my assisted development project, the lead engineer had a tragic and incurable case of nudophobia. It was imperative for all his humanoid models to wear fully covering raiments.
Likewise, this often caused delays and personal strife within his design team, finally causing him to be demoted to a window seat job.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.

I like my pants.

Best regards,

Wren



Fiddly Bits

"Dear Forren of Algo,
Some of your most interesting features are the telecommunications units upon the sides of your head - at an obtuse angle, an upper section, a mandibular projection, and, of course, the downward-projecting fin at the intersection of the two prior components. My curiosity is this: at the joint/base of the fin, there are two small adjacent units, ones at roughly 45-degrees to the primary unit itself; these pieces would at first seem too insignificant to be of function or even notice, yet might they serve some augmentation function towards transmission, reception, or telecommand? You are the System Controller of none other than Zelan/Algo, after all. (I should say that I don't believe - for all the work and design engineering that went into creation of androids of your series - that designers would go about attaching fiddly bits to their creations so later engineers could prod at them, or hedge bets on which superifical minor components fall off first due to wear or conflict.)

Thank you,
Respectfully,
Void-Mirror

(P.S.: My apologies for the long questioning process; I hope remaining concise is to your proper understanding and benefit.)"



Yes, well concision is important. Which is why I'm going to be concise in my following statements.
Those peculiar little pieces serve two functions. Their secondary function is to serve as my advanced hearing sensors (my ears.) Their primary function, however, is to make me look phenomenally hot.

Thank you Void-Mirror for your inquisitive questions,

Wren



Partially Inane Questions

"Dear Forren of Algo,
You appear to possess brass joints on the first set of knuckles of your hands. Are they a special form of shock-absorbing or transferring material, and do they have any role in intimidation of foes? (Admittedly, though you appear to prefer advanced ballistic systems as your most common armament of choice, Android Metal Death Fists would make nearly as effective an offensive tactic, depending on the situation.)

Thank you,
Your respectful fan,
Void-Mirror"



Yes. That is correct. You have astute observational skills. Although I wouldn't know about my knuckles being designed to look intimidating. If anything, I would think that they were designed with aesthetic qualities in mind. I have never given any self-provoked reasoning to it before, but doing so now I must admit that my special shock absorbing knuckles are quite stylish, and I am certain that they would invoke fear and admiration into the crevices of any fashion conscious mind. Despite the shock absorbent nature of my specially galvanized alloy joints, however, I would be hesitant to use them as weapons themselves. You have helped me to realize that my hands are beautiful, beautiful instruments, and I could never afford them to be damaged.

On that note, I bid you fair well, Void-Mirror, for I am busy admiring my fine and marvelous knuckles,

Wren



UNSEATED LOVE

"Dear Wren,
How do I romance a toilet?"

-BEANPOLE


Your question is a strange one, but very well then, Beanpole, since you have asked, I will tell you all a boy needs to know about romancing a toilet.
Toilets come in many shapes and sizes, and some are very different from what we would normally consider a toilet.
See Japanese Toilet
But no matter the toilet, one simple rule of thumb is to always look your best and properly maintain good personal hygiene.
Be aware, however, that most toilets are very sensitive, and will become aloof and even outraged if they even so much as suspect that you're cheating on them. (You need to stop cheating on the toilet with the shower. It's damaging as well as repulsive.)
When it comes to toilets, you always have to make the first move. This may make the relationship seem one-sided, but this only proves your strength. Truth be told, it's true that all toilets don't want a weak man, (the one's that say they do don't know what they want, and are always the first ones to snap when you're being a wuss.)
Toilets find enthusiasm to be the most romantic element of all.

So there you have it.
Be enthusiastic with your toilet, and everything will flush your way,
Wren (With help from Demi)




FITNESS

"DEAR WREN
HOW DO YOU STAY IN SHAPE? DO YOU EAT A
SPECIAL DIET AND WHAT KIND OF EXERCISES
DO YOU DO TO KEEP YOUR FIGURE PROPER
SINCERELY, YOUR SECRET ADMIRERER

PS I AM DRAK"



In answer to you question, "Drak", I am artificial.
I do not eat organic substances, and my body only changes
shape when I undergo centennial hardware and physical
frame modifications. Likewise, I can be powered by the sun,
but when there is not enough sun-light, I go into a room
and run-in-place for countless hours.
If you really wish to maintain a figure like mine, though,
you would need to lift land rovers and eat nothing but burgers
and nuts of laerma.

I wish you the best of luck,
Wren



SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT

"Dear Wren,
Who would win in a fight, you or Mega Man?"

-BEANPOLE



To effectively answer this question, you would need to measure
both our pros and cons.
Megaman: Pros:
Good mobility, can copy skills
Megaman: Cons:
A low-collision standard that would put Palma to shame, weak attack power, unintelligent

Wren: Pros:
Can recover HP easily, powerful attack power, highly intelligent, is tall
Wren: Cons:
I declare that I have no cons.

Signing out,
Wren



Oracy #2


"DEAR WREN
why would a robot who doesn't eat need teeth?
I AM GREAT
sincerely
A GREAT PERSON"


While I do not need to eat with my mouth, I still need to speak out of it.
And when I speak, my mouth needs to appear in a way that would generate a life form's immediate trust.
Ask yourself this, "A Great Person", would you trust someone who didn't have any teeth? Especially an android?
Would you trust a toothless android? I personally wouldn't.

My best regards,
Wren



Oracy

"dear wren
do you have teeth
sincerely
spiderman"



Yes. And they are plastic.

Thanks for your question,
Wren




That's it for now! Don't forget to e-mail Wren if you have any other questions you feel the urge to ask him!
wrenforren@gmail.com